A cancer diagnosis and looking ahead to a year of treatments was so scary. But let me tell you what was almost as scary.....that day, a little more than a year ago, when I took my last herceptin infusion!
The end of a successful cancer treatment journey is such a celebration! I praised God it was over and I was cured! But what I wasn't prepared for was the new fear, a very real fear of recurrence. I realized I was on my own now. No more herceptin. My port was gone. I was no longer receiving any of those wonderful drugs to kill and/or prevent cancer cells. It was like freewheeling...hydroplaning....losing control. It was totally up to my body to put the brakes on if a healthy cell tried to mutate into cancer. That's a scary thought! And it was evident that this new fear could consume me.
|Dr. Chumsri is the absolute best!|
Last month as my scans and appointments approached I found myself preparing for the worst. Even though I felt so good.....that fear was big. But after all of the testing I got the good news and was jumping up and down cheering! I decided that going forward I had to let my faith in God and faith in myself be stronger than my fear.
I worry......of course. Do I let it consume me...absolutely not. I live my life the fullest and healthiest that I can. I try to make good decisions and I enjoy myself. I love. I pray. I give thanks. When I have aches and pains I sometimes have to fight the fear because I know........cancer can have a mind of it's own. But I refuse to live in fear! I choose to be brave and live life without fear.
It's been an awesome year full of love and life!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."