Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I still have hair...

Day 14 of chemo and I still have hair!  That has become our joke. It's really interesting the different perceptions of the whole cancer and chemo experience. But the outpouring of love and support have overwhelmed me and I appreciate it more than you can imagine. And I've never felt God's love and protection more than I do now. That love and prayer is carrying me. And that's what gives me the strength and ability to laugh through this rather than sitting around crying all day.

I'm not very far down the trail in this journey but looking back I've come a long way. I've experienced more in this short time than even I can believe. Laying on that ultrasound table February 12, 2015 with the Radiologist and the ultrasound technician looking down at me with the saddest of faces, as if they were peering into my casket, evoked an intense fear like I've never felt before and can't even begin to explain.  But fast forward to today March 31 - and btw I still have hair today - I've had more tests and procedures than I can count - multiple blood tests, every type of mammogram possible, multiple ultrasounds, biopsies, MRI, CT/PET scans with and without contrast - and yes I got in that big tube without freaking out and yes I had an allergic reaction to the contrast!  I've had a Power Port implanted, with very few tears thanks to the morphine. And with the help of lidocaine it's been accessed more than once without tears.  Which moves us forward to ALL the drugs I've taken. I've probably had more drugs in the past month and a half than I've taken cumulative in my entire life - all important in their own way but the biggest and baddest being The Red Devil chemo.  But I've embraced chemo and I thank God for it because it's part of my cure.

Not to mention the decisions are overwhelming!  A few important ones being who and where for treatment - I chose Mayo Clinic Breast Clinic for my treatment team; whether to complete genetic testing ((BRCA1 & BRCA2) - which after an hour and a half with a genetics specialist I chose to do; and lastly - what kind of wig to get!  For those of you who have never shopped for a wig....well that could be a blog post of its own.  But I chose a pretty wavy short blonde wig so even though I still have my hair today, tomorrow is a new day. 

Tomorrow I have another date with The Red Devil and I pray my body accepts and responds as well as our first encounter.  And again I thank everyone for your gracious love and prayers.  I love you all and pray for y'all every day.  As my son said "You have so many people behind you with this, more than you may even know."

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2 NIV)

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