February 26, 2020
It was 5 years ago today I was at Mayo Clinic with my husband, daddy and big brother waiting for an official diagnosis. I was terrified of what my future held.....or if I even had a future.
The night before I was awake all night, talking to God, making deals. I kept thinking this can't be true.
Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Stage IIB that has spread to lymph nodes rang in my ears. I will be honest, I was angry, I had made promises to God the night before....so why? But I very quickly realized...Why not me? Survival mode took over and all I could think about was what I had to do and how. I had asked God to help me through it. At this time, I wasn't sure about making deals with God because He was already there along with a strong tribe of prayerful family, friends and strangers - that soon became friends.
Do I sound like a crazy person to say Breast Cancer saved my life? Maybe so, but how would I have ever known I had a mucinous tumor of the appendix that could burst and be deadly at any time? Taking my appendix out lead to taking my ovaries out. How would I have ever known I had precancerous Ovarian Cancer cells in one of my ovaries? By now I would have had full blown Ovarian Cancer, or maybe not even been here.
Check up times are always scary with a new set of emotions at each one. But I can honestly say that five years later I am happy, healthy and a much wiser person because of all the experiences God allowed me to endure and survive. And as far as what I learned about making "deals" with God.....don't waste your time. He is always there with unconditional love. As I look back at all that has happened over the past five years, I promise there is always good in the cards of life we are dealt.
I promise....
