Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Face of God

What a month! A lot has happened but I'll try to catch up! Started out with my normal post AC chemo blood cell slump, leaving me tired and fatigued. Because that completed the AC treatments and  I was preparing to start the THP next they scheduled tests. The Pulmonary Function Test was...well lots of breathing. It wasn't bad until she pulled a set of steps out, started a ticker and tick is up the next tick is down...3 minutes non stop. Believe me, after a minute I was looking for the face of God to rescue me. The chest X-ray was uneventful other than I obviously wasn't leaning in far enough so he told me to put my hands on my hips then lean in. If you know me you know that hands on the hips is a normal stance for me. Haha! The best part is that my new watch showed up in the X-ray!  I thought that was pretty funny.

The week continued with an echocardiogram which showed a healthy heart and then an MRI to determine how well the chemo has worked. It showed the lump was GONE and the lymph node greatly reduced.  THANK GOD!  That was extremely good news but I continued to feel bad.  I went in for fluids the Friday before Mother's Day which made me feel a little better along with a BIG surprise visit from John and Ashley that weekend. It was such a blessing having them here!  Nothing better than pancakes and sausage for breakfast on Mother's Day!

Even though I still didn't feel well, that Wednesday I spent 5 hours in the chemo lab receiving the new THP chemo which was supposed to be easier on my body.  But I felt horrible!  I started dropping weight and wasn't able to eat or drink.  Then I had a few days unable to get off the sofa, then the chills and  fever started. They sent me to the Mayo Clinic Hospital Emergency Department where they immediately admitted me and started massive antibiotics.  I spent 5 days in the hospital while they "looked" for the infection.  It was tortuous!  I begged every one to make me feel better. I begged God to make the fevers and chills stop. I begged the nurses to stop poking  needles in me. I was so ready to give up I was begging everyone I know for prayers. I couldn't breath. I couldn't stop coughing. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't walk. I couldn't tolerate it any longer when they finally came and said they found a bacterial infection in my lung. They said they were testing antibiotics to determine which one would kill it. Once they gave me the one that worked it was amazing how quickly I started feeling better! So after chest X-rays, lung scans, ultrasounds on my legs and heart, barium swallow test, being put on oxygen and receiving a unit of blood I finally started feeling human again.  I did feel blessed during the week when Ashley showed up, we were totally exhausted and she helped with questions for the doctors and homemade meals she brought to the hospital.

And then the night I came home from the hospital my BFF and Soul Sister DeeDee came and spent the weekend catching up with girl talk and helping me enjoy my new found appetite!  It was wonderful!  It was just what I needed. I've since had another two THP treatments with no problems. I've felt great and slowly gaining some strength.

This journey is long. And it's not easy. It's scary.... I look for the face of God everywhere. I see Him in the nurses and doctors, my family and friends, the other patients I see suffering and their families, my new neighbors and the stranger that holds the door and smiles.  It keeps me going. I know without doubt that God is surrounding me and them. I give thanks for every one because I feel all the prayers for me. I feel certain that one day I'll see this journey as a blessing rather than the struggle I feel now And I'm certain God is protecting me.  I thank everybody for the love and support and mostly the prayers. 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

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